“You can say no if you want to be difficult, Evelyn,” she said, using my first name the way she always did when she wanted to remind me that she didn’t consider me an elder worth respecting. “Only you might want to think about what that actually costs you in the long run. Sunday dinners, family birthdays, the kids’ track meets, and all those little holiday visits you love to talk about so much. Mark and I are busy, and if you aren’t going to be part of the family team when we need help, we just won’t have time to pack up the children and drive them out here every weekend. Right, Mark?”